Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The Journey Home




The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.

It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save.

- Mary Oliver

I love this poem because it encapsulates the mind body integration work. When we start clearing the obstacles of deeply held beliefs and the energy it holds in the body....we can hear that "...new voice which you slowly recognize as your own." It is amazing what tumbles out when there is space created from the energetic release. But first you must have the courage to walk into the wild night.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Life on Life's Terms



My big sister passed away on the 29th of September at age 60. She had multiple health problems and challenges. For her body, it was a blessing to be relieved of the suffering and fighting to stay alive. For her spirit, I'm sure it is still a blessing to be free of earthly constraints.
For me, I am left with a hole in my heart that is running around looking for her to share my latest experiences, thoughts, laughs and all that we talked about when we got together. I am no stranger to grief but I guess I didn't expect to revisit this process quite so soon.
It is odd to experience a shifting family foundation. I know my foundation is in place but I took it for granted that it would be supported by a continuing relationship with family members. I have one sister left. My father in just one month's time has crossed over the line into dementia so I don't really feel like I "have" him anymore.
It is the beginning of a new season for me and my idea of family. I am so blessed by the many many friends that I can call family. I am blessed for the reminder that I was raised in a loving Catholic environment. I feel no need to "recover" from my Catholic upbringing. It was kind, loving and all priority was given toward service. The vigil that we had for Brigid reflected those values and I was reminded of how we girls were raised by our parents and by the Church.
My time, though sad, is full of gratitude and blessings for all that I have been given in this life. I am just a little closer than I was before in appreciating the experience of being alive. It doesn't last forever, that much is guaranteed.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

My Teacher Rocks!

I've mentioned before that I'm studying with Wynn Tamura of www.mindbodyintegration.net. I'm also a client of his. I don't ask clients of mine to do anything that I haven't already experienced. I like testing the waters for others. Today I hobbled in to see Wynn, hoping for some relief from the bicycle tumble I took 15 days ago. I got what I wanted plus being blown away once with potency of matching the subconscious physical holding with old belief systems.

He hooked my right leg that had been stuck in pain since the accident around his arm while sending energy down the other leg. Actually I don't know what the hell he was doing but I plan on learning it! The pain had been sharp from day one and unlike the other aches and pains, did not change in focus or intensity. Wynn said to me, "Oh this isn't really about the accident. This is an old belief that you're holding on to."

Now granted, I'm the first to roll my eyes and say "Oh Brother!" when hearing these kinds of statements. I've heard this kind of thing from others and not been able to believe the practitioner nor trust them in any letting go fashion. However I have been working with Wynn for over three years and I do trust him. He had me go inside to my emotions and there it was. A very very old belief system that still rules my life. I was able to feel its weight and the tears rose to the surface, the emotional pain exposed. Ahhh acceptance. There it is. The sharp pain that had been dogging me for 15 days left. Just like that. It left.

Will it come back? Maybe. But it won't have the stronghold it had before, lounging in my denial. Did I know I was in denial? Nope. But I know now, what that looks like. Because the subconscious belief/wound is now much more conscious, I can make choices that I couldn't see before. Who knew? Who knew that such an old old belief could wreak such havoc in my poor ol beat up body? And yes, the accident can be seen as a gift...a way to release more stuff that isn't true and isn't necessary.
This work rocks!!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

What is it?

Mind Body Integration is an educational process. People ask me if it falls into the realm of healing or therapy. Through education and the connection that happens has a result of learning something about yourself results in feeling healed.

But what is healing? To me, it feels spacious. It feels like I can take a deeper breath, that there is more room in my body to bring in air, inspiration. Engaging in this awareness work washes away the defenses of old traumas, hurts, shames that live within us unconsciously.

Once you feel the place in your body where that wound exists, physically, metaphorically and emotionally, something happens with the synergy and a new freedom surges in that wasn't there before.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

It will just happen...

"Yogic Philosophy has an idea called “Spontaneous Right Action”. It means when the body and the mind are in harmony and we begin to do the right things to support our wellbeing it becomes easier and easier to make the best choice for ourselves on every level. We don’t have to “THINK” about it, we don’t have to FORCE ourselves to do the right things, to eat nourishing foods, to exercise correctly, to be considerate of those around us, to treat others with honesty and generosity … it will just happen!" Kay Rice Wellness Coach



This is a great description of the mind body integration work that I am doing. When a client experiences the flowing freedom that exists in the nonstop current of chi, something breaks open in their consciousness. A new perspective of responsibility, the kind that gives us relief 'Ahhh, there is something I can do about this. This is something I can grab hold of and actually change." It reduces the projection and manifestation of distractions - all those things that keep us from feeling deeply and experiencing life for what it is. The process in mind body integration work facilitates the touching of those areas, emotionally and physically. When the client is on the table, I touch the area that I can see is tight - either through their breathing, tightened musculature or rigidity. I ask them to feel my hand in that area...this is the first and basic mind body connection. Relaxing into the acknowledgement of connection awakens the flow in that area - feelings may come up or not. The first step has been taken. They have come into their body and the journey begins.

Monday, June 15, 2009

This following article is written by Judith Kravitz, founder of Transformational Breathing.

Breath: The Dance Of Spirit -- "Breathing into the Divine"
by Judith Kravitz



One of my favorite quotes about the Breath is, “The Breath is the Movement of Spirit in the Body”,
by Dr. Andrew Weil.

In many languages breath means, or is derived from, the root word Spirit. In Italian, it is respire, French is respiration, in Spanish, breath is respirare, in English to inspire is to breathe. All of these have at their core "to inspire" or "be filled with Spirit"... In Arabic, the term for the "One who takes the first and last breath" is ho, (pronounced who).

There are many Spiritual practices built around breathing. In all forms of yoga breathing is an an important component. Most meditation practices focus on the breath, and breath is at the heart of the Tantric rituals, Tai Chi and most martial arts work intensely with breathing as well.

Easterners have known forever that the breath is the key to accessing Spiritual realms. The Master Babaji has said, "Breathing is the gateway between the visible and invisible worlds." This is a time on the planet where we are shifting from human perception to spiritual consciousness...

... A great metaphor is that our lives are a dance. How is your dance? Chaotic and out of rhythm? Or are you stuck in the cha-cha-cha of the 70's? Maybe your dance is smooth and flowing" Would you like the dance of your life to be more open and flowing? Would you like the energy of Spirit to inspire your dance more?

So how does our breath become the dance of Spirit First of all it is important to have the intention of wanting more Spirit in our lives. We also need to make the connection that one of the most profound ways to do this is through our breathing. Then we can invoke that into our experience with our words and envision that it has already happened. Just declare it now with thanks and confidence.

Experiencing more Spirit through Transformational Breathing develops in steps. The first part is to open one's breath so that the air flow fully accesses the whole respiratory systems and the life-force energy then has the ability to flow through the whole body. This means breath flowing from the lowest part of the abdomen all the way to the upper chest. This is a process for some, as breathing patterns are formulated for most at birth and are traditionally constricted. With awareness and commitment most can begin to meaningfully open their breath with practice.

The next necessary step is to clear the energetic patterns that cause the breath to shut down in the first place. This represents negative emotions and thoughts, past traumas, and other suppressed negativity in the subconscious mind. First, these patterns are accessed by breathing into the previously closed areas. Then the high energy of the open connected breath raises the energy of the once lower energy blockages and thus creates an opening for the breath and the movement of life force to flow more freely.

This opening of the breath allows the integration of one's body, mind and spirit. We can then welcome Spirit into our body while breathing and feel each cell ignite with its presence and know that the movement of breath is the movement of Spirit coming into form.


Judith speaks of this wonderful God given ability to heal ourselves through breath and mindfulness. It works best with another person observing and helping the client feel and acknowledge the obstructed areas, physically and emotionally. When we are able to dislodge and let go of those tightened and shut down areas, we have an opportunity to experience what the word Yes feels like. Yes to more breath, inspiration, life and possibilities.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Bringing it all together...


There have been times in my life when things came together in a way that made me say "Yes. This is right. This is exacty where I am supposed to be or be doing right now." Of course I'm more amenable to saying that when things are going in a way that I agree with, make me feel good or have some other positive bent to it. I've also been in the place where I've said, "No, I simply cannot accept this. I do not like this and I don't think I'm supposed to be here right now." Accompanied by the stomping of my feet! But it was the right place at the right time. My soul knew it. The controlling aspect of my ego disagreed because it didn't fall into my pleasure arena.

I'm trying to listen to my soul more. Trying to give it the light of the day so it can shine and brighten up my journey. I've been studying with Wynn Tamura and his process of Mind Body Integration for the last three years. Something fell forth in the last workshop he gave and the tethering pulls of my past loosened so I could understand the power of this kind of work. I've been held back by trying to feel what he feels when he moves energy. Well there is no way I can get to his level any time soon. He's been at it for 25 years, along with his innate ability to sensate below the obvious levels of consciousness. But I what I did understand is that I have my own way to seeing, feeling and being present with others.

Twenty years ago, I graduated from a year long massage therapy program in Chicago. Ten years later I graduated with a Masters in Psychology/ Counseling from Antioch University, Seattle. Five years later, I was certified as a Professional Personal Coach at the Coaching Institute in San Rafael, California. And here I am today - bringing these modalities together to help people increase their awareness of the unconscious patterns preventing them from feeling joy in their lives. It is clear to me that the patterns existing below the surface create havoc and dis'ease when they aren't acknowledged. The pool of healing is endless once a person can 'feel' that stuckness in their body, become aware of the mechanisms they've created to protect all that is below the discomfort. I've been given a gift of freedom and spaciousness from my teacher's journey and him sharing it and educating me. I've tasted the nectar. I know it's the right thing when I'm compelled (like the 12th step in AA) to give back - to give it away - to help anyone else who wants this freedom in their life.

So this is the beginning post of my new journey as a coach and counselor working to help people integrate their mind and body together for more joyous living.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Wonderful poem for these days


Old News

I walk past the Hardin-Bergia:
it hasn’t got the news.
Sending forth tender purple micro
blossoms crafted
to celebrate the coming spring,
it’s oblivious to
this global meltdown.

The nectarine tree readies
its small bursts of
snowy hope on stems’ ends,
unclear or unconcerned,
that the collapse is coming.

What to make of this ignorant
spring grass engorging the orchard?
Birds who flit from tree to tree
and sing alive
these futile mornings?
Who store their seeds,
depart on their migrations?

Something still is working:
the only true ground, spreading the word:
our next deposit,
our next withdrawal, as near as
our next spent
breath.

- Scott O'Brien