Some Perspective on Prop. 8

Unlike many of my friends and family, I am not devastated by Proposition 8 passing. I really didn't think we would be able to beat the millions of dollars pouring in from pulpits across America to advertise their "God given opinion." I realized a long time ago that I live in a bubble with my residence in the Bay area of Northern California. Like most cities, we screaming left liberals, gays, lesbians and transgender people have a safety net of numbers. Here we are safe by the fact that we are surrounded by own like minded compadres. Travel 100 miles east or north of the Bay area and we've got the rest of California. The rest of California who are surrounded by their own like minded compadres. These are farming, ranching communities. These are parts of sprawling suburbs. These are areas with different lifestyles and different values.

I drove north on Highway 5 this week from the bay area. The Vote Yes on 8 placards were on cars, lawns, buildings, bumpers. I didn't see one sign opposing Proposition 8 as I did my 6 hour drive to Oregon. Not one. As I passed by the cars, I looked at the drivers. They were just regular folks trying to get home from work, or maybe from picking their kids up from school. My guess is that if i met them in a social setting, they would be nice people. Good Christian folk people. I wondered if any of these placard owners actually knew a gay person. Because if you don't know a gay person, they can remain a pervert, a monster of some sort, something too different and scary from them. And they might pass it on...whatever it is that makes them gay, One woman looked over at me as I passed and I smiled and nodded. Part of me wanted to let her know that she had just been passed by a lesbian. And she survived.

The arguments I heard for Proposition 8 were mainly a defensive posturing against something they thought we would take away. There is so little understanding of lesbian and gay issues especially where our rights fall within the law. Throw in morality and our civil rights work sinks. I cannot get upset with this new development because we, lesbians, gays and transgenders are in a process. A very long process of being recognized as full citizens, being granted equal rights. We are so much closer than we have ever been. I remember our history. This is one good thing of being older. I remember the closet. And I know there are many people still living there. Like snails and tortoises we are making movement out of our shells, out of our safe neighborhoods of like mindedness. We are getting more activity in the courts. We are making progress.

When I really need some perspective, I think of my own mother. My very own mother who loved me dearly but it still took a solid two years before she could accept me as a gay woman. Two years of dealing with her own homophobia and disgust that a daughter of hers could be one of "those" people. My goal these days is to continue what Harvey Milk said in a speech close to 20 years ago. These were the words that gave me the courage to come out to my parents and to people around me. "If every one of you would come out of the closet and tell the person who means the most to you, that you are gay, we can make change. But you have to speak up. You have to come out of closet so we can be free." That is my plan to keep moving toward freedom.