Its the one year anniversary of my mother's passing from this world on to the next. I told someone today that I am 'in memory' of witnessing a miracle this time last year. It's a miracle to me that a soul/spirit rises up and out of a human body. We witnessed her transformation and I felt her love and spirit linger in the hospital room as if to cloak us with a pure love energy. This energy that she embodied physically as Gloria McCormick. I'm not saying she was a saint or anything because the dear woman was human after all! She was my mother, my father's wife, my grandmother's daughter and on and on with the identities. Being human is experiencing all of our wonderful imperfection. I have been at the bedside of a few people and animals who have died and have the same experience every time. I feel sense of pure love energy. Its almost palpable and defies language or description. It just is. And it is wonderful. And it is a piece of life that all of us seekers search for, hoping to find snippets of it in daily life. When my mom died, I felt her. I felt her for months afterwards...that wonderful spirit reminding me that life is so much more precious than I give it credit for. So this morning when I woke up and thought about what kind of anniversary this is, I realized that I'm celebrating a miracle and I'm mourning a loss, all at the same time.
I can also see how I have changed in a years time. I reached a point of adulthood and responsibility that I didn't have before. I've fallen in love with my father and all of his frailties and a past that I just don't even care about anymore. I longed all my life for the relationship I have with him now . I have a father that has turned into the sweetest and most giving guy. He's still stubborn as hell and I'm still reduced to a "yes, dad" little girl resignation. But I have a father who tells me he loves me - a father that gets excited about activities I'm doing, even if he can't understand a thing about it - a father that is still protective and eager to give me advice. Maybe what's important is that I'm still able to enjoy him as my parent - something that was lost when Mom became an angel last year. Man! What a wild ride its been.
