My big sister passed away on the 29th of September at age 60. She had multiple health problems and challenges. For her body, it was a blessing to be relieved of the suffering and fighting to stay alive. For her spirit, I'm sure it is still a blessing to be free of earthly constraints.
For me, I am left with a hole in my heart that is running around looking for her to share my latest experiences, thoughts, laughs and all that we talked about when we got together. I am no stranger to grief but I guess I didn't expect to revisit this process quite so soon.
It is odd to experience a shifting family foundation. I know my foundation is in place but I took it for granted that it would be supported by a continuing relationship with family members. I have one sister left. My father in just one month's time has crossed over the line into dementia so I don't really feel like I "have" him anymore.
It is the beginning of a new season for me and my idea of family. I am so blessed by the many many friends that I can call family. I am blessed for the reminder that I was raised in a loving Catholic environment. I feel no need to "recover" from my Catholic upbringing. It was kind, loving and all priority was given toward service. The vigil that we had for Brigid reflected those values and I was reminded of how we girls were raised by our parents and by the Church.
My time, though sad, is full of gratitude and blessings for all that I have been given in this life. I am just a little closer than I was before in appreciating the experience of being alive. It doesn't last forever, that much is guaranteed.
